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Things I want to spend time doing: Moving my body Writing Connecting with God Connecting with R Connecting with family and friends Making a positive impact with my psychiatry work Ways I want to show up: Wholehearted With integrity With love With courage Things I am willing to do: Feel grief Feel lonely Feel tired…
This was a text I got from my insightful and decidedly heterosexual sister a few weeks ago. It made me laugh! I’ve had the same thought and I’ve held it with some curiosity. This is not a coming out post! Still firmly hetero (for any available intensely awesome male partners anyone might know). Here’s my…
I’ve been writing a lot this past week but it’s been pretty scattered. I’ve had a hard time corralling it into something that resembles a coherent post. Last night as I laid down to go to sleep, I thought about the morning. Mornings are hard lately. I wake up too early and usually with a…
On Friday I was about ready to leave for work when my nurse ran into my office for gloves and sprinted down the hall. Running in our environment is never a good sign so I grabbed some gloves and ran after her asking why we were running. A man was collapsed in front of the…
There are a million reasons NOT to publish and only one reason TO publish. That reason is the commitment I made to myself to write and to be seen and not to worry about whether it was any good or not. I’m not sure how this phase of the divorce/grieving/soul-splitting process is supposed to feel. …
Hello, Silent One. Silence for weeks and for months, Imagined with a crevasse of compassion. And now that I have beheld Your unyielding form, I understand. You, at your core, are not uncaring, But your silence is. In my first life, If I learned nothing else, It is that silence has no room for Heat…
One of the last conversations I had with my Grandma Whipple was while we were standing in her kitchen. I had stopped by their house on my way to or from someplace for a quick hello. Grandma and Grandpa Whipple’s house was always quiet and relaxed. I would stop in at an hour too late…
It’s a striking contrast to leave the lively, bright Christmas Eve party and return to my quiet apartment with my sleeping child, unable to delay his slumber over the excitement of Santa Claus and presents. The quiet is dramatic, marked by the purr of the refrigerator and the click of expanding and contracting metal in…
A long, long time ago there was a really big meeting. All of humanity was there. God stood up at the front of the massive space that held all of us and said, “Hello, my beautiful and diverse creations. We are here today to discuss the matter of your becoming. Over the next several thousand years, I’m…
Last year a wise friend said to me, “Michelle, it’s okay to hope for good things.” I’ve spent most of my adult life releasing hope as a means of protecting myself from disappointment. It’s actually a very efficient way to make oneself disappointed. I now call it pre-disappointed. It happens when I decide I will…