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I am up at 6:15 today to get the taxi at 6:45 to the Clinical Center. I arrive at the hospital before much is going on there. First stop is phlebotomy. I am taken back immediately into one of the phlebotomist cubicles. She informs me that they only need a urine sample. I don’t know…
I got a really good night’s sleep last night and woke up feeling pretty good at 6:30am. I am in the lobby at 7am again, this time taking the NIH-ordered taxi to campus. I have a study at 7:30am so I can’t wait for the shuttle. The taxi pulls onto campus. A security guard scans…
PREFACE: This week I’ve decided to chronicle my NIH visit in detail. My friends and family have been observing my NIH pilgrimages from a distance for years and are interested to know what it’s like. I realize this may not be of interest to everyone and my entries will resume their regular flavor (whatever that…
I’m on my way to DC today. This is the trip that I have normally approached with, at best, resignation, and at worst, dread. It’s always difficult to describe the NIH experience to others. I’ll do my best here. It starts with a cross-country flight. I like flying into Reagan International Airport because I can get…
Today, I had an opportunity to exercise compassion for myself. I decided after being mostly home sick for two days that I needed to get out. I loaded up almost-three-year-old R in the car, which was hot from sitting out in the afternoon sun. I gave him about three minutes of looking at gravel in…
Tonight I’m feeling strong. It feels like a noticeable shift from just yesterday and dramatically so from the weekend. This is what I keep finding—if I just feel my feelings and let them be what they need to be, then I bounce back. I keep thinking of this quote from Wild by Cheryl Strayed: “Fear,…
This week I’ve had the intention to find the temple inside of myself. I am really enamored with this idea that God is within me. That by knowing myself better, I will know God. Focusing on perceived distances from God will not bring me closer to him. It’s interesting. With how I’m approaching life now,…
I want to address a couple of comments I’ve received since I started sharing my blog. These couple of comments have been something along the lines of, “It seems like you are doing really well with everything.” When I’ve read those, I appreciate the sentiment/encouragement but I want to wave my arms frantically from the…
I’m sitting on the beach with the sun on my face and the salty breeze flowing through my hair. It’s such a blessing that I get to live here, where in October I can enjoy this warm, temperate weather. I remember last winter considering whether I would have been able to tolerate this part of…
I find myself joking with my close friends that it’s a lot of work to be friends with me right now. It’s because I have no capacity for the superficial. I don’t have the energy for it. This means I have a lot more awkward conversations. I ask deep, personal questions. I talk about…