The Nuvaring Before I got married, I went to the student health center for a pre-marriage gynecology appointment. I was a student at Brigham Young University (BYU), 20 and a virgin. I didn’t think of myself as prude or naive, but I was probably both of those things. Raised in the conservative Mormon faith, I…
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Last year I gave up on happiness and decided to start enjoying my life. That’s right–forget happiness! And it’s been good. I found peace in thoughts like, I get to live such a rich life. Rich, alluding to the contrast. And when I stopped trying to run down happiness, I had more space to notice…
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We look at the pet scan which shows a shadowy outline of my body containing the darkened shapes of liver, brain, kidneys, bladder (pee pee is funny :).
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The results are in! If you’ve been following the chronicles of my life here, you know I recently got concerned about some symptoms (read here). I called my endocrinologist. She ordered blood tests to check levels of catecholamines and metanepherines. These are substances that pheochromocytomas can make. When they do, it results in episodic hypertension,…
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Right now I have a paraganglioma in my right neck. It’s called a carotid body tumor because it is wrapped around the carotid artery at the point where the artery splits to provide blood supply to my face and my brain. I had tumor removed from the same location on the left side in 2005. …
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As I stood in warrior II with my arms resting by my sides, I was overcome with respect and humility toward my body. MY BODY! Which is such an amazing tool for all the things I love.
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Why are you strong, brave, resilient or inspiring? Hint: It has nothing to do with what’s gone wrong in your life.
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A few weeks ago, after I wrote the post How to start feeling, I asked my therapist, “Do we ever stop numbing? I mean, is there some transcendental state that is attainable where we never numb our feelings again? Is that even possible? Is even that the goal?” I’m not going to try to…
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I’m just waking up this morning. I heard River get up out of bed and walk through the house. Then he climbed back into bed, ate a little dry cereal from the bowl he requested last night and he’s been quiet for a while now. I have been mulling over this question of how to…
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This morning I woke up early. Like 2:30am. I have a cold so this was a mix of sinus congestion, jitteriness from Sudafed (for the sinus congestion) and my freaking unstoppable mind. Whenever this happens I hear the voice of Dr. Fleisher, the last psychiatrist I worked with, in my head, “Early morning awakening should…
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