How far down does this thing go?

My eyes flicker open, barely conscious of where I am.  The side of my face presses into the floor boards.  There is dust and debris scattered around.  I push my hands into the wood to raise my body off the ground.  I look around.  I see the hole over my head where the floor above…

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May Day and MAYDAY!

I find that life keeps teaching me about these paradoxes—two things that shouldn’t go together but certainly do. Two things that should contradict each other, but both are true. It’s as if life keeps saying to me Yes, AND….

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“Walk without a stick into the darkest woods.”

In Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Life and Love from Dear Sugar there is a letter from a man who signs himself as “Beast with a Limp.”  He writes that he has been disfigured by a blood disorder that he has been dealing with since childhood.  He writes that there is no way to remedy…

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Stop worrying about the knitting and remember to dance

These past couple of days I have been sensing a weird transition in myself.  It’s like I’m crossing a threshold into a new phase…and it feels good.  Strangely good.  This Cheryl Strayed quote comes to my mind often: “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or…

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With a clear lens

Today, I had an opportunity to exercise compassion for myself.  I decided after being mostly home sick for two days that I needed to get out.  I loaded up almost-three-year-old R in the car, which was hot from sitting out in the afternoon sun.  I gave him about three minutes of looking at gravel in…

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A pretty successful stay in a haunted, former-forensic ward of a psychiatric institution

Tonight I’m feeling strong.  It feels like a noticeable shift from just yesterday and dramatically so from the weekend.  This is what I keep finding—if I just feel my feelings and let them be what they need to be, then I bounce back.  I keep thinking of this quote from Wild by Cheryl Strayed: “Fear,…

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