It takes imagination.

The Nuvaring Before I got married, I went to the student health center for a pre-marriage gynecology appointment. I was a student at Brigham Young University (BYU), 20 and a virgin. I didn’t think of myself as prude or naive, but I was probably both of those things. Raised in the conservative Mormon faith, I…

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Who is Heavenly Mother?

Now that I better understand the feminine divine, I see that, because of her nature, she doesn’t fit easily into organized religion. She is too big and complicated for that. There are no instructions for breathing! How would you teach someone to inhale? Yet, I notice very quickly when I am becoming oxygen-deprived.

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Moving on.

Sometimes you get an email on a random Tuesday that’s really a box of venom and darkness. And it’s from someone you can’t block. So you write. Not back to them. But to yourself. Just because you disgust one person, doesn’t mean you are disgusting. You are light. You are fire. Burn, baby. Moving on.…

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New Year! New You?

New Year! New You? The daylight begins to spread slightly father into the edges of the day. Still, it’s cold. I don’t like how my body looks, How it feels. I don’t like how my brain is moving, Either creeping in a carb-laden haze, Or ping-ponging between things that might lift me from misery: a…

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Tis the Damn Season

Do I need to rethink my entire life?… Or is it just the holidays? I found myself texting this to a friend who casually asked me how it was going?  Not good. Not good at all.  I mean, there are good things happening. But I think I wandered into the holidays a little off kilter.…

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Kauai is messing with you

This Kauai trip, it’s been interesting. I had the extra burden of writing a book while I’ve been here. That has made the trip decidedly less zen than my typical solo retreat. Also mercury is in retrograde. The Verizon tower was down on the North side of the island for a couple of days, plus…

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The One Where She Starts Online Dating…Again

I’ve been dating to one extent or another since about 18 months after my ex and I separated. I naively stepped up to the plate thinking that I was basically a good wife and I should be able to find a suitable husband replacement fairly easily. People told me my most difficult job would be…

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Covid sucks. Can we turn it off?

In June I found my self saying over and over again, “I just need a minute to myself.” So this last week has been some strange karmic joke or the answer to prayer or maybe just a symbol of how in touch with the universe I really am.  Because I got covid.  Everyone wants to…

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Your Power

I’m just coming off of this month of 30 poems in 30 days. I laughed a lot. I took a closer look at some personal and hard things. I like poetry because it gives a way to share those things without oversharing (maybe??? maybe I overshare there too). At the beginning of the challenge, I…

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What if I decided I was safe?

When I was first married, I lived in a laundromat.  I say it that way because the apartment was actually IN the building of the laundromat, but I wasn’t sleeping on washing machines at night. During my short time there, I encountered a man who used the bathroom sink every morning to bathe and then…

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