Week 5: Recovering a Sense of Possibility

Welcome to Week 5! By this point, the novelty of the book and process has worn off. You may have hit a rhythm with the morning pages. You may still be struggling to make the artist date happen. You may have learned somethings about your internal narrative around life and your desires. But by this…

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Curiosity—my new favorite modality for mental health

I was sitting on my mat in yoga last week at the beginning of a vinyasa class. The instructor was walking around the room getting the music and lights adjusted, and I thought, She and I are doing the same job.  I’m a psychiatric PA.  My main role is medication management, deciding which meds will…

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The Journey of the Warrior

It’s Tuesday morning.  I wake up early, probably 20 minutes before little one starts chant-singing, Mommy-Mommy-Mommy.  I lay in bed watching the gray dawn through my bedroom curtains.  I’m thinking about my journal session the night before.  There are many days when I write and it doesn’t amount to much.  But sometimes, when I’m really…

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Please don’t ask if it’s amicable!

So now that you understand how ABSURD the amicable question is, let me offer some suggestions of what might be more helpful to someone who is facing or recently undergone divorce.

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F*ck it. Write the book.

Last July I was out for one of my nightly walks with R in the stroller and the stars and jets and helicopters twinkling overhead.  I imagine I was probably listening to a Dear Sugars podcast and soaking in the thick, night air.  I was texting with a friend and I commented on how I…

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Evictions and invitations

After I wrote my last post I have been using, “I’m just going to dance,” as a mantra.  It’s been quite useful, but because life is what it is, it’s been a struggle to keep dancing. Just wanted to reality check that.  I’m still repeating, still working to do it.  I do feel like I’ve…

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Stop worrying about the knitting and remember to dance

These past couple of days I have been sensing a weird transition in myself.  It’s like I’m crossing a threshold into a new phase…and it feels good.  Strangely good.  This Cheryl Strayed quote comes to my mind often: “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or…

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Day 1: Make a mess beautiful

PREFACE:  This week I’ve decided to chronicle my NIH visit in detail.  My friends and family have been observing my NIH pilgrimages from a distance for years and are interested to know what it’s like.  I realize this may not be of interest to everyone and my entries will resume their regular flavor (whatever that…

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One million tiny, ignored desires

Because experience seems to be the best teacher, let me start there.  I’ve written a lot about listening to the still, small voice or finding the knowing.  I’ve considered how to find that voice and I’ve been intentionally experimenting with it this past couple of months.  My mind has been pretty hectic this week.  My…

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A calling from a Mayan shaman

Years ago I was traveling in Guatemala and visited Tikal.  It’s an amazing Mayan ruin site, the one with pyramids topped with elaborate roof combs reaching up from the jungle canopy. This was my second visit to this site.  It was toward the end of the day.  We had already explored all of the more-restored…

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