J and the Alzheimer’s spider

“It’s like a spider,” she said. “That’s what they told me at the Alzheimer’s Association when I was taking care of mom. And the spider goes around and around until it stops and that’s when you can’t remember.”

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Our willingness to NEED each other

The thing that spurred our relationship was our willingness to NEED each other. We really needed each other. For the first time in years, it felt safe to need someone and this opened me up.

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Wandering Thoughts on Mother’s Day

We beat ourselves against the role and we bleed our pain.

And while we do this, Heavenly Mother watches and waits. She whispers to us the truth that seems to only become visible through the pain, You are your own mother.

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May Day and MAYDAY!

I find that life keeps teaching me about these paradoxes—two things that shouldn’t go together but certainly do. Two things that should contradict each other, but both are true. It’s as if life keeps saying to me Yes, AND….

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Respect for the jazz organ, little lies and other music lessons

This made me think of the music my parents’ passed on to me. It’s music I can still get into all these years later. Here are the top five bands I appreciate because of my parents!

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Please don’t ask if it’s amicable!

So now that you understand how ABSURD the amicable question is, let me offer some suggestions of what might be more helpful to someone who is facing or recently undergone divorce.

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The Marco Polo Prayer

Sometimes I can’t feel god.  I used to think this was because of something I had done.  That god had withdrawn from me.  I learned in church that god cannot dwell in unholy places so I assumed if I couldn’t feel god then something unholy was going on inside of me.  I felt shame about…

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Day 8: The call is inside me

I wanted to write this post immediately on returning from Hawaii, but for some reason, I couldn’t.  Some things need a little time to settle.  On our last day, Cass and I woke up early, packed up our things and drove with the top down to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau.  It’s a national historic park, south…

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Light and shadow

When I was in Hawaii last week, I visited Painted Church or, more properly, St. Benedict’s Catholic Church.  It’s a scenic, little-white-church tucked away in the greenery south of Kona and worth a quick stop.  The church is famous for the murals covering the walls and ceiling, painted by Father John Velghe, an untrained folk…

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Open Hands. Open Heart.

I believe that for two emotionally healthy people, love and integrity are enough.  I believe those two things can bridge idealogical differences, extended family problems, money issues, illness.  Because two emotionally healthy people will own their own shit.  They will have the strength to be honest even when it is painful, motivated by a deep…

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