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Identify those ingredients that make it bliss and put them together in your current circumstance. Put your butt in the sand. Fry bacon on the beach miles away civilization. Stare into the starry sky. Give your soul what it craves.
There’s an unspoken rule, once you reach real adulthood (I’m not talking age 18—I mean the time in life when you can really do you) that you should only do things you are good at. That rule is silly. And it sucks. Literally it sucks all the fun out of life.
Torrey Pines has become a holy place to me. I’ve made it a routine stop on my way back from dropping R at his dad’s house. I get out of my car and smell the bushy plants of the coast and the estuary. It reminds me of the smell of the sage brush in…
It’s 2am. My body feels exfoliated from the elements, slightly tight from exertion. I’m sitting outside on the deck of my next AirBnB in Kona. It’s quiet, nestled into the city surrounded by apartments and houses, except for the gentle white noise of the AC. I got about four hours of sleep before I became…
Things I want to spend time doing: Moving my body Writing Connecting with God Connecting with R Connecting with family and friends Making a positive impact with my psychiatry work Ways I want to show up: Wholehearted With integrity With love With courage Things I am willing to do: Feel grief Feel lonely Feel tired…
I’m on my way to DC today. This is the trip that I have normally approached with, at best, resignation, and at worst, dread. It’s always difficult to describe the NIH experience to others. I’ll do my best here. It starts with a cross-country flight. I like flying into Reagan International Airport because I can get…
I’m sitting on the beach with the sun on my face and the salty breeze flowing through my hair. It’s such a blessing that I get to live here, where in October I can enjoy this warm, temperate weather. I remember last winter considering whether I would have been able to tolerate this part of…
In March I set a goal to journal daily for 30 days. It was just for me. I had zero intention of sharing the contents of my journal with posterity. I think I just wanted to hear the sound of my own voice. I wanted to better understand myself. I decided to do it first…
As a woman, I’ve spent most of my life trying to take up as little space as possible. This was easier in some ways because I have always been on the smaller side of normal. And the message from the world is that women should be small and quiet and agreeable. Fortunately, at this time…
I just finished a short relationship with someone. It was never meant to be serious but it was more substantial than anything I’ve had since I separated from my someday-ex 20 months ago. This micro relationship was like an accelerated course. Each week, I felt I was uncovering some truth about myself, not because this…