The thing that spurred our relationship was our willingness to NEED each other. We really needed each other. For the first time in years, it felt safe to need someone and this opened me up.
It's Tuesday morning. I wake up early, probably 20 minutes before little one starts chant-singing, Mommy-Mommy-Mommy. I lay in bed watching the gray dawn through my bedroom curtains. I'm thinking about my journal session the night before. There are many days when I write and it doesn't amount to much. But sometimes, when I'm really … Continue reading The Journey of the Warrior
There’s an unspoken rule, once you reach real adulthood (I’m not talking age 18—I mean the time in life when you can really do you) that you should only do things you are good at. That rule is silly. And it sucks. Literally it sucks all the fun out of life.
I’m just waking up this morning. I heard River get up out of bed and walk through the house. Then he climbed back into bed, ate a little dry cereal from the bowl he requested last night and he’s been quiet for a while now. I have been mulling over this question of how to … Continue reading Waking up
I’ve been kicking around ideas of what to write about all day today. And now, as I am finally summoning the courage to write what I’ve been avoiding, I’ll probably get this posted about the time you are all headed to bed. But no matter, it will be waiting for you bright and early Monday … Continue reading Accelerated carousel of mommy guilt
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. I’m not thankful. At least, I’m not thankful for probably 95% of my day. I don’t walk around in a cloud of gratitude and satisfied bliss. For all my talk about mindfulness and the positive spin I work to put on my life, I spend … Continue reading Just in case you ever feel ungrateful
These past couple of days I have been sensing a weird transition in myself. It’s like I’m crossing a threshold into a new phase…and it feels good. Strangely good. This Cheryl Strayed quote comes to my mind often: “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or … Continue reading Stop worrying about the knitting and remember to dance
R and I had an incredibly full and beautiful weekend together. We spent a pristine Saturday morning at the beach. The babies played while the adults took turns surfing. The conditions were perfect. Small, friendly waves. Bright sun. Pleasantly warm, but not hot. R palled around with his equally blond comrade, playing in the sand, … Continue reading See! That tiny light is already glowing.
Today, I had an opportunity to exercise compassion for myself. I decided after being mostly home sick for two days that I needed to get out. I loaded up almost-three-year-old R in the car, which was hot from sitting out in the afternoon sun. I gave him about three minutes of looking at gravel in … Continue reading With a clear lens
I’ve done a lot of journaling today exploring my prompt: What is it like to be me in the world today? Honestly, it’s kind of a mess. I just got over the 24-hour stomach flu. It was wicked. I could hardly get out of bed yesterday except to throw up. I had R most of … Continue reading I am willing