I have wanted to write more about my wrestle with my faith, but it feels very vulnerable. I am going to try to do that today and I hope, as readers, you will remember my post about the wound that is still healing. I am in the middle of healing this wound, maybe even at…
Since I started learning from Brené Brown, Cheryl Strayed, Elizabeth Gilbert, Glennon Doyle, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah, and Jody Moore (I could go on…), I feel like I’ve been shown the secret entrance to a club that I never knew existed. A club where people openly acknowledged what I have known in my heart and been…
I made it home and I’ve been plunged back into my life of routine. I am caring for my son, working, working out, responding to requests for help related to church, and running my household. It’s been a little overwhelming. The NIH experience, in some ways, felt like a monastic retreat. I was able to…
I got through my last day of tests today! First thing, I had a third IV placed, this time in my right antecubital space (inside of the elbow). This is radiology’s favorite place to put IVs and my least favorite because every time you bend your elbow it hurts, which is really annoying! I had…
The night before I traveled to Bethesda, I went to see my acupuncturist. She is an incredible, Scottish woman with multiple sclerosis. Incidentally she is also a talented painter and has a wonderful mind. I asked her for a last-minute appointment because when I woke up that day, the left side of my neck was…
Today, I had an opportunity to exercise compassion for myself. I decided after being mostly home sick for two days that I needed to get out. I loaded up almost-three-year-old R in the car, which was hot from sitting out in the afternoon sun. I gave him about three minutes of looking at gravel in…
I’m sitting on the beach with the sun on my face and the salty breeze flowing through my hair. It’s such a blessing that I get to live here, where in October I can enjoy this warm, temperate weather. I remember last winter considering whether I would have been able to tolerate this part of…
As a woman, I’ve spent most of my life trying to take up as little space as possible. This was easier in some ways because I have always been on the smaller side of normal. And the message from the world is that women should be small and quiet and agreeable. Fortunately, at this time…
I don’t remember what it feels like to be kissed. It’s been a long time. Too long. I can picture it in my mind and I can even recall the rush somewhat, but the actual tactile sensation of lips and cheeks and tongue, of force and softness; that I can’t quite recall. I long for…
More than anything I want to be free. This is my quest: to learn what freedom is for me and to be free to be my most authentic version of myself.