May Day and MAYDAY!

I find that life keeps teaching me about these paradoxes—two things that shouldn’t go together but certainly do. Two things that should contradict each other, but both are true. It’s as if life keeps saying to me Yes, AND….

Read More

Accelerated carousel of mommy guilt

I’ve been kicking around ideas of what to write about all day today.  And now, as I am finally summoning the courage to write what I’ve been avoiding, I’ll probably get this posted about the time you are all headed to bed.  But no matter, it will be waiting for you bright and early Monday…

Read More

Day 5: Don’t fight the inhale!

In Braving the Wilderness, Brené Brown tells a story where she is presenting at a conference. In between scheduled events, Brené is talking with Roshi Joan Halifax and mentions that she feels like resting, but should probably go to the reception.  Roshi responds with the following: “Now it’s time to inhale. There is the in-breath…

Read More

Day 4: A wound that is in the process of healing

The night before I traveled to Bethesda, I went to see my acupuncturist.  She is an incredible, Scottish woman  with multiple sclerosis.  Incidentally she is also a talented painter and has a wonderful mind.  I asked her for a last-minute appointment because when I woke up that day, the left side of my neck was…

Read More

Light in the kitchen

I’m on my way to DC today.  This is the trip that I have normally approached with, at best, resignation, and at worst, dread.  It’s always difficult to describe the NIH experience to others. I’ll do my best here.  It starts with a cross-country flight.  I like flying into Reagan International Airport because I can get…

Read More

The last option is mindfulness

I’m sitting on the beach with the sun on my face and the salty breeze flowing through my hair.  It’s such a blessing that I get to live here, where in October I can enjoy this warm, temperate weather.  I remember last winter considering whether I would have been able to tolerate this part of…

Read More

A calling from a Mayan shaman

Years ago I was traveling in Guatemala and visited Tikal.  It’s an amazing Mayan ruin site, the one with pyramids topped with elaborate roof combs reaching up from the jungle canopy. This was my second visit to this site.  It was toward the end of the day.  We had already explored all of the more-restored…

Read More

Hospital gown and lipstick…perfect.

This week I went to see one of my patients at the board and care facility where she lives.  I was sitting in my car digging around in my bag to make sure I had a pen when she appeared through the glass of my passenger window.  I startled.  She was wearing a hospital gown…

Read More

How to pick your face up out of the mud

I’m coming out of the dark today.  Sitting on the beach, typing to you, dear readers, with the waves crashing before me and the sun on my face, salt in my hair.  I’m thinking about what it takes to rise as I try to do rise AGAIN.  The last two days have been dark.  I spend…

Read More

On being seen

I’ve always been on the short side of normal height.  I never had a growth spurt where I was the tall kid for a few months.  As a result, I’ve always seen myself as small.  I used to feel self conscious about the size of my feet and hands.  I got my mother’s long fingers…

Read More