Be.

Rest in cool water.  Dance in flame.  Lick up morsels lobbed onto my plate.  I was born in ease,  In the universe, In myself. Hung the world round my neck, Its weight pulling nearer, nearer to the floor. Stop that.  Let it clatter on the floorboards. Skip into the mud forest. Find a shelf fungus,…

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Sit and smile

I’m going to pause here because THIS is mind-blowing for me. I’m not required to constantly shift and work and adjust and strain until perfection is obtained? Really? There is space in life for a moment’s pause to sit and smile?

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My Becoming Book List

This time of year people are looking for a good read.  I can’t say these are light summer selections for the beach or poolside, but these are books that have made their way through my hands during the past year and I recommend (in no particular order). Wild by Cheryl Strayed.  In many ways this…

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Who is Heavenly Mother?

Now that I better understand the feminine divine, I see that, because of her nature, she doesn’t fit easily into organized religion. She is too big and complicated for that. There are no instructions for breathing! How would you teach someone to inhale? Yet, I notice very quickly when I am becoming oxygen-deprived.

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Curiosity—my new favorite modality for mental health

I was sitting on my mat in yoga last week at the beginning of a vinyasa class. The instructor was walking around the room getting the music and lights adjusted, and I thought, She and I are doing the same job.  I’m a psychiatric PA.  My main role is medication management, deciding which meds will…

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Wandering Thoughts on Mother’s Day

We beat ourselves against the role and we bleed our pain.

And while we do this, Heavenly Mother watches and waits. She whispers to us the truth that seems to only become visible through the pain, You are your own mother.

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May Day and MAYDAY!

I find that life keeps teaching me about these paradoxes—two things that shouldn’t go together but certainly do. Two things that should contradict each other, but both are true. It’s as if life keeps saying to me Yes, AND….

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All things are true

A few weeks ago, after I wrote the post How to start feeling, I asked my therapist, “Do we ever stop numbing?  I mean, is there some transcendental state that is attainable where we never numb our feelings again?  Is that even possible?  Is even that the goal?”   I’m not going to try to…

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Run in the desert under a starry sky

I’m sitting on my couch listening to R do his howling cry of bedtime loneliness interspersed with plunking on the alligator xylophone.  It’s 9:32pm.  He’s normally in bed an hour earlier but we are coming off of a travel weekend which included strange sleep schedules and a long nap on the car ride home—on top…

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How to start feeling

I grew up in a house with four women which meant there was a lot of estrogen going around.  We were pretty adept at late-night sessions, hashing out the latest crises in our lives, letting our advice spill over into the wee hours when judgment for such things is waning and emotions are running high. …

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