May Day and MAYDAY!
I find that life keeps teaching me about these paradoxes—two things that shouldn’t go together but certainly do. Two things that should contradict each other, but both are true. It’s as if life keeps saying to me Yes, AND….
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All things are true
A few weeks ago, after I wrote the post How to start feeling, I asked my therapist, “Do we ever stop numbing? I mean, is there some transcendental state that is attainable where we never numb our feelings again? Is that even possible? Is even that the goal?” I’m not going to try to…
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Run in the desert under a starry sky
I’m sitting on my couch listening to R do his howling cry of bedtime loneliness interspersed with plunking on the alligator xylophone. It’s 9:32pm. He’s normally in bed an hour earlier but we are coming off of a travel weekend which included strange sleep schedules and a long nap on the car ride home—on top…
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How to start feeling
I grew up in a house with four women which meant there was a lot of estrogen going around. We were pretty adept at late-night sessions, hashing out the latest crises in our lives, letting our advice spill over into the wee hours when judgment for such things is waning and emotions are running high. …
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Day 8: The call is inside me
I wanted to write this post immediately on returning from Hawaii, but for some reason, I couldn’t. Some things need a little time to settle. On our last day, Cass and I woke up early, packed up our things and drove with the top down to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau. It’s a national historic park, south…
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Light and shadow
When I was in Hawaii last week, I visited Painted Church or, more properly, St. Benedict’s Catholic Church. It’s a scenic, little-white-church tucked away in the greenery south of Kona and worth a quick stop. The church is famous for the murals covering the walls and ceiling, painted by Father John Velghe, an untrained folk…
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Day Six: Intention for the Dirty Muddy Pig Year
Sleepy Saturday is a good way to describe the last day in Hawaii. We sleep in later than usual after our late night of dancing. We pick up some interesting donuts from a Holy Donuts in Kona—our favorite was the lilikoi (passionfruit) meringue. We relax on the seawall watching swimmers follow the buoy-marked path that…
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Day Five: Swimming in that soul river
I am up with the sun at 7am. Cass and I have planned to snorkel the Captain Cook Monument today. With optimism, we attach a couple of other potential plans on the back end of that so we rush around and load all the needed equipment, provisions and clothing into a laundry basket to haul…
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Day 3: No, no! A Camaro is fine
Tonight as I’m writing this (and every night) the coqui frogs and cicadas are singing their songs over the distant sound of waves crashing onto the rocky cliffs below. The spiders are positioned in the center of their elaborate webs. A few stars are glinting overhead but mostly it is intensely dark. The place I’m…
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I keep identifying with lesbians
This was a text I got from my insightful and decidedly heterosexual sister a few weeks ago. It made me laugh! I’ve had the same thought and I’ve held it with some curiosity. This is not a coming out post! Still firmly hetero (for any available intensely awesome male partners anyone might know). Here’s my…
