I’m the bad guy…duh.

I have to take a second to acknowledge how hard this post has been to write. I’ve been kicking the idea around in my head for months. I’ve talked it out with several people. I’ve written multiple drafts. That’s how laden the shadow is. It’s a dragon. It’s a snag. It’s mine. And it’s yours.

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Glowing water

On Friday I got a text from Britta with a genius idea.  She proposed we meet at Mission Bay to paddle board in the bioluminescent red tide.  She pointed out it would be an appropriate, socially-distanced activity and something that would be freaking amazing.  I was completely in and so were three more of our…

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I Just Want to Feel Like My Old Self

My brain wants to tell me that when things go back to normal, then I can be my old self again. But my old self isn’t waiting in the wings. She’s here with me right now.

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Forget Happiness!

Last year I gave up on happiness and decided to start enjoying my life.  That’s right–forget happiness! And it’s been good.  I found peace in thoughts like, I get to live such a rich life.  Rich, alluding to the contrast.  And when I stopped trying to run down happiness, I had more space to notice…

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Colored arrows pointing to black circles

We look at the pet scan which shows a shadowy outline of my body containing the darkened shapes of liver, brain, kidneys, bladder (pee pee is funny :).

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It’s JANUARY!

On Christmas Day in the evening, I was driving R and our new puppy home from a friend’s house.  R said, “I really want to stop at the store and get a new car.”   “No, we have sooooo many new toys at home! Let’s just go home and play with all of our new…

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